Everybody has a “what if”

May 16, 2013

Everyone has a “what if.”  What if I drove instead of him? What if  I didn’t put her in the nursing home? What if we went with the feeding tube? What if I told her how much I loved and needed her? What if?  What then?

Guilt. It is a feeling that many people experience after the death of a loved one. Not only are there what ifs, but there are also should haves, could haves, would haves and if onlys. People generally make the best decision they can with the information that they have. Hindsight is 20/20 and can be a dangerous thing. People second-guess themselves and experience pangs of guilt.

The bottom line is that it is okay to experience feelings of guilt. Feelings are not right or wrong, good or bad. Guilt may or may not be illogical. The important thing is to understand it and cope with it. If guilt is unrecognized or unattended to, it can cause unhappiness and poor health. It can consume you. Engaging with feelings of guilt in a healthy way can be transformative in the grief process.  Click here to read more.

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Our Adopted School

May 16, 2013

Woven into the fabric of the community, Hospice of the Western Reserve supports and cares for neighbors in addition to patients and families. The Hannah Gibbons Elementary School is located just east of the headquarters building on St. Clair and has approximately 350 students.

As in all elementary schools in Ohio, the students took the State of Ohio Achievement Tests in April. Hospice of the Western Reserve learned that many students would not have snacks to sustain them during the long hours of test taking, so decided to help.

“Friday dress down” funds were collected to purchase testing day snacks and school supply donation boxes were set up throughout Hospice Headquarters. This morning, the school principal dropped off “thank you” notes from the children (pictured here).

Staff and volunteers are excited about this new community partnership and look forward to many other opportunities with Hannah Gibbons as a strong and lasting relationship continues to grow!

Ice Cream Social June 8 Provides Positive Way to Honor and Memorialize Dads, Father Figures

May 15, 2013

Father’s Day can be painful for those who have lost a father or father figure. Memories come flooding back. Feelings of grief and loss are often intensified on this special holiday dedicated to honoring dads.  To help those who are grieving, the Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center is hosting a pre-Father’s Day Ice Cream Social on Saturday, June 8, 1 to 3 p.m., at Ames Family Hospice House, 30080 Hospice Way in Westlake (just north of the I-90 interchange, between Holiday Inn and Bonne Bell on Crocker Rd.).  Anyone who has experienced the loss of a father or father figure is welcome to attend the free community event — no connection to hospice is necessary.  To register for the free event, call Felicia at 216.486.6335.

Activities will be held outdoors, on the patio at Ames Family Hospice House, weather permitting.  A commemorative art activity is planned (no experience is necessary), Lorain’s Golden Crescent Chorus  barbershop quartet will perform, and an ice cream sundae bar will be provided by Mitchell’s Ice Cream. A spiritual care coordinator from Hospice of the Western Reserve will share brief stories about his own experiences of losing his dad. Participants are encouraged to bring photos of their fathers or father figures to display on a table of remembrance for a short memorial reading of names.  All those who attend are encouraged to enjoy the flowering perennial gardens and stroll the wooded trails located throughout the grounds following the presentation.

About Hospice of the Western Reserve

Celebrating 35 years of service in the Northern Ohio region, Hospice of the Western Reserve is a nationally ranked non-profit agency providing comfort and emotional support to patients and their families. The agency provides palliative end-of-life care, caregiver support and bereavement services throughout the region, and cares for people in a variety of settings, including private residences, assisted living and retirement communities, nursing homes, at Ames Family Hospice House in Westlake and David Simpson Hospice House on Cleveland’s east side. For more information, visit http://www.hospicewr.org, or call 800.707.8922.

Hospice Organizations Team Up to Honor Local Veterans

May 14, 2013

Presentation of Colors by VFW 5137, Medina Honor Guard

Cleveland, Ohio (May 13, 2013) – Approximately 13,000 Medina County residents have defended our nation through their service in the Armed Forces. To honor their commitment, Hospice of the Western Reserve and HMC Hospice of Medina County have joined forces once again to host a Veterans Recognition Ceremony on Friday, June 7, at Weymouth Country Club in Medina. All Veterans, their families, friends, and active military personnel are encouraged to attend. Registration begins at 10:30 a.m., followed by lunch at 11:15 a.m., and a program at 12 noon.  Reservations can be made online or by phone before June 1 by visiting http://www.hospicewr.org/veterans-ceremony, or calling 330. 722.4771.

 Medina County Auditor, Commander Mike Kovack (U.S. Navy) will serve as Master of Ceremonies.  The two keynote speakers are volunteer Don Stark (U.S. Marine Corps), Hospice of the Western Reserve, and volunteer Lou Deloss (U.S. Air Force), HMC Hospice of Medina County. Both men will share their inspirational stories about what it means to them to serve their fellow Vets.  A highlight of the event will be a moving ceremony during which each Veteran will be personally recognized, honored with a commemorative pin, and thanked for his or her service to the country.

 Hospice of the Western Reserve and HMC Hospice of Medina County are both committed to providing quality end-of-life care for Veterans by collaborating with VA and other Veterans’ organizations, increasing accessibility of hospice and palliative care services, and working with other hospices across the nation to implement best practice models.

 Sponsors of the Veterans Recognition Ceremony include HMC BridgesHome Health Care, Medical Service Company, Life Care Center of Medina, Crystal Clinic Orthopaedic Center, attorney Marie Mirro Edmonds, Carlson Funeral Homes, Medina Village, Waite & Son Funeral Homes and S&S Benefits.

 About Hospice of the Western Reserve

Celebrating 35 years of service in the Northern Ohio region, Hospice of the Western Reserve is a nationally ranked non-profit agency providing comfort and emotional support to patients and their families. The agency provides palliative end-of-life care, caregiver support and bereavement services throughout the region, and cares for people in a variety of settings, including private residences, assisted living and retirement communities, nursing homes, at Ames Family Hospice House in Westlake and David Simpson Hospice House on Cleveland’s east side. For more information, visit http://www.hospicewr.org, or call 800.707.8922.

About HMC Hospice of Medina County

HMC Hospice of Medina County has dedicated more than 30 years to providing expert, compassionate and responsive hospice and palliative care throughout Medina, Summit and surrounding counties. Our services include expert medical care as well as emotional, spiritual and bereavement support from an extensive, coordinated team of professionals and volunteers. We offer a full continuum of care with hospice, palliative and home health care services. HMC Hospice of Medina County also operates HMC Barberton Hospice & Palliative Care, HMC BridgesHome Health Care, HMC The Robertson Bereavement Center and HMC Life’s Treasures Thrift Shop. For more information, visit www.hospiceofmedina.org or contact us at 330-722-4771.

LGBT Art Therapy Group Provides Safe Haven for Grieving Loss of Partner

May 9, 2013

Cleveland, Ohio (May 9, 2013) — Grieving the loss of a loved one is always difficult, but it can be exceptionally challenging for members of the LGBT community. Hospice of the Western Reserve’s Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center (ESPBC), 300 E. 185^th St., Cleveland, offers an ongoing LGBT art therapy bereavement group the last Tuesday of every month, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., to help those who are grieving the loss of a partner.

The group provides a safe haven for expressing grief, honoring loves ones and finding healing support among others on the same journey. The sessions are free; a $5 donation is suggested to cover the cost of art supplies. To register, call Mollie Postotnik at 216-486-6544, or email her at mpostotnik@hospicewr.org.

“When a life partner dies, additional wounds can sometimes be inflicted by family members, in-laws, coworkers and others who do not understand or honor the surviving partner’s loss,” explained Mollie Postotnik, art therapist, who leads the small group sessions. “Life partners may feel disenfranchised, left out or alone at a time when they are exceptionally vulnerable.” 

Postotnik said participants work on a variety of projects to help acknowledge their feelings, honor memories and look toward the future as they begin the healing process. No special artistic skills are required, and no connection to hospice is necessary. “Anyone who has lost a partner or a family member is welcome,” she added.

Projects include symbolically building and crossing the threshold of a “Door to Tomorrow,” capturing memories in a collage, designing a sun catcher to honor loved ones and creating  unique Ojo de Dios (“Eye of God”) wall hangings.  

About Hospice of the Western Reserve

Celebrating 35 years of service in the Northern Ohio region, Hospice of the Western Reserve is a nationally ranked non-profit agency providing comfort and emotional support to patients and their families. The agency provides palliative end-of-life care, caregiver support and bereavement services throughout the region, and cares for people in a variety of settings, including private residences, assisted living and retirement communities, nursing homes, at Ames Family Hospice House in Westlake and David Simpson Hospice House on Cleveland’s east side. For more information, visit http://www.hospicewr.org/, or call 800.707.8922.

“Together We Can” Camp Offers Support for Grieving Children

May 9, 2013

Cleveland, Ohio (May 9, 2013) — For the 15^th consecutive year, Hospice of the Western Reserve will host Together We Can, a children’s bereavement day camp,  at Red Oak Camp, 9057 Kirtland-Chardon Road in scenic Kirtland.  This year’s camp is scheduled for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Aug. 6-8, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Each year, up to 60 campers between the ages of six and 14 who have experienced the death of a loved one spend three days in this beautiful natural setting interacting with other children who have also had someone special die. 

“There’s nothing better than seeing all these kids who have experienced so many different losses come together in a beautiful setting to share stories, learn new ways to handle their grief, and have fun with other kids who understand what they’re going through,” said Karen Hatfield, counseling team leader at the Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center.

Children have the opportunity to share their feelings and ask questions in a safe, supportive environment.  A variety of activities to encourage memories, coping and expression of feelings, as well as fun recreational activities are led by trained professionals who are experienced in working with children and grief.  Cost for the camp is $25 per camper; scholarships are available. Space is limited and registration is required by July 1. 

Transportation is provided from three convenient drop-off points:

• Hospice of the Western Reserve, Lakeshore Campus, 300 E. 185^th Street, Cleveland
• Hospice of the Western Reserve, Warrensville Hts. Office, 4670 Richmond Rd., Warrensville Hts.
• Holiday Inn, 4181 W. 150^th Street, Cleveland

For more information and to receive a registration packet, call Karen Hatfield at 216.486.6042.

About Hospice of the Western Reserve

Celebrating 35 years of service in the Northern Ohio region, Hospice of the Western Reserve is a nationally ranked non-profit agency providing comfort and emotional support to patients and their families. The agency provides palliative end-of-life care, caregiver support and bereavement services throughout the region, and cares for people in a variety of settings, including private residences, assisted living and retirement communities, nursing homes, at Ames Family Hospice House in Westlake and David Simpson Hospice House on Cleveland’s east side. For more information, visit www.hospicewr.org, or call 800.707.8922.

Hearts in Flight Kite & Garden Fest Honors Loved Ones, Benefits Hospice

May 3, 2013

Cleveland, Ohio (May 1, 2013) — When we experience the death of loved ones, we strive try to keep their memories alive. Symbolic rituals provide an effective spiritual outlet, allowing us to feel close by celebrating their lives in a positive way. That’s the idea behind the Hearts in Flight Kite and Garden Fest on Sunday, June 30, 1 to 4 p.m., which will send an arc of memorial kites skyward in a colorful mass tribute over the Lake Erie skyline. The event will take place on the waterfront property adjacent to Hospice of the Western Reserve, 18485 Lake Shore Boulevard, Cleveland. 

The family kite-flying event will be doubly meaningful to participants since all funds raised will benefit patients and families cared for by Hospice of the Western Reserve, a nonprofit agency serving seriously ill people in Northern Ohio regardless of their ability to pay. Parking will be available next door at Villa Angela–St. Joseph High School.

Here’s how it works:

• Donors may choose from adding their loved one’s name to the tail of a Tribute Kite for $25 or  sponsoring an individual kite for $100. 
•  Each gift of $25 will be acknowledged by writing a loved one’s name on the tail of a Tribute Kite. Dozens of Tribute Kites will be linked together and flown together in an arc−a dramatic symbol of  hope and transformation.
• Individual kites may be sponsored for $100 with the option of onsite flying and personalization.  Hospice of the Western Reserve will supply all of the materials needed to create a kite that says, “I  remember,” “I love you,” or “Thank you.”
• For those who cannot attend but still wish to honor a loved one, Tribute Kites may also be sponsored here.
• For all levels of donations, donor names will be written on mini kites that will be displayed at the non-profit agency’s two hospice houses to show love and support to resident patients and families

“We want this to be a family-friendly community event. We’ve planned a variety of activities to make it a memorable day for everyone,” said Sunny Masters, Chief Development Officer.  Activities will include kite demonstrations from the Ohio Society for the Elevation of Kites, sidewalk chalk arts and crafts, animal exhibits from the Lake Erie Nature Science Center, Super Hero guest appearances courtesy of the non-profit group Superheroes to Kids in Ohio, and much more.

“We encourage families to grab their picnic baskets, bring a blanket and enjoy a beautiful day on the waterfront,” Masters added. “Our scenic Vista Walk along Lake Erie and the gorgeous memorial gardens throughout the grounds will also be available for self-guided tours, and will be one of the featured stops on the Euclid Pond and Garden Tour taking place the same day as our event. The gardens and the spectacular view of the lake may be among Cleveland’s best-kept secrets.”  

In case of inclement weather, the Hearts in Flight Kite & Garden Fest rain date is Sunday, July 14. To sponsor a Tribute Kite online, click here. For more information or to place a phone order, call 216.502.4451.

About Hospice of the Western Reserve

Celebrating 35 years of service in the Northern Ohio region, Hospice of the Western Reserve is a nationally ranked non-profit agency providing comfort and emotional support to patients and their families. The agency provides palliative end-of-life care, caregiver support and bereavement services throughout the region, and cares for people in a variety of settings, including private residences, assisted living and retirement communities, nursing homes, at Ames Family Hospice House in Westlake and David Simpson Hospice House on Cleveland’s east side. For more information, visit hospicewr.org, or call 800.707.8922.

Mother’s Day and Grief

April 29, 2013

Mother’s Day is usually a time of celebration, but for some the time can be filled with pain and sorrow. Not everyone will be buying flowers or going to brunch with the family. For those who have experienced the death of a child or a mother, for those struggling with infertility, or for those who have a difficult relationship with their mother, here are some suggestions for getting through this difficult time.

On grieving the death of your mother

• Acknowledge your loss and the difficulty this day brings
• Don’t try to minimize the loss
• Complete a ritual: light a candle
• Click here to read more

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Remembrance Gardens

April 18, 2013

Spring is here and we are provided with an opportunity to spend time outdoors. While grieving the death of your loved one, you may want to consider a gardening project. Working with the earth is a great way to connect with nature, expend energy in a positive way, and create something beautiful.

A remembrance garden is a wonderful tribute for a deceased loved one. It’s an undertaking that can be done individually or by the whole family. The garden becomes a quiet relaxing retreat, a space for reflection and remembering. If you don’t have space for a garden, you can be creative and place plants on a deck, porch patio, balcony or steps.

• Decide on your budget. This will determine the size and type of garden decor. It can be as small as one bush or tree or as big as a baseball field.
• Choose plants that are suited to your area. If your area is shady, pick plants that are hardy in the shade. Your local gardening/landscape supplier will be helpful in selecting appropriate plants.
• Choose plants that have special meaning to your loved one, or that have colors or scents that evoke memories. Certain plants have certain meanings. For example forget- me-nots stand for memories, rosemary means remembrance, daisies suggest innocence.
• A wooden bench or metal chair strategically placed provides the visitor a place for reflection and comfort.
• Purchase large river rocks that could be inscribed with your loved one’s name, or collect large stepping stones that can be placed to honor the deceased.
• If your garden is in a sunny location, consider an arbor covered with climbing vines or roses to provide some shade for the visitor.
• Water fountains help to create a serene, relaxing and calming atmosphere. There are many to choose from and they vary in shape, materials and sizes.
• If honoring a music lover, consider wind chimes or tall grasses that create sound when the wind blows.

There are many parallels between grief and gardening. We can learn to take care of ourselves as we take care of our gardens. We gain insight from planting, watering, pruning and watching plants grow. The gardener waits for the beauty of the bloom; the grieving anticipate the return of the beautiful memories.

Visit your remembrance garden often and maintain it with pride. It can bring solace, comfort and a sense of renewal.

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Going Home

April 17, 2013

In his award-winning essay, Going Home,  Jason Ryan, MD, a Connecticut physician, shares the story of Marilyn, and makes a case for compassion, dignity and respect at the end of life.  Read Marilyn’s story here.