A Child's View: 3 Ways to Remember Them
CATEGORY: Grief and Loss
BY: Diana Battles, LISW, ACHP-SW
PUBLICATION: About Grief
When someone you love dies, it is natural to remember them. Sometimes you have sad memories of when they were sick, things you said, or did not get to say. Sometimes you may have questions or wonder about what you saw or heard when they were sick and died. Remember to ask an adult if you have questions, if you are wondering about something or if something is bothering you. Talking is a good way to sort through memories and heal your sad heart. You may even understand things better when you talk them over with a grown-up.
Memories are made every day. Things you do with special people become memories. Baking cookies, going fishing, flying a kite, blowing bubbles, jumping in the leaves, playing games, reading stories, hiking in the woods, riding bikes, going special places together, and simply laughing together are examples of some things you may have done with your special person that are now memories. After your special person dies it is important to remember the things you never want to forget. Here are just a few ideas of things you can do to remember them.
1. Memory Box
SUPPLIES: shoebox, markers, pictures, Mod Podge, small paint brush
INSTRUCTIONS: Decorate your box inside and out with colors, words, photographs, magazine pictures, drawings, and stickers that remind you of your special person. Mod Podge works like a glue to attach things to the box, and as a coating to seal it all together. After your box is done and dried, you can fill it with mementos of your special person. When you want to remember them, open your box and look at the special things that are reminders. You can always add things to your box.
2. Memory Journal
SUPPLIES: spiral notebook, journal, pens, colored pencils
INSTRUCTIONS: Choose a journal with a cover that reminds you of your special person or decorate a plain cover journal for them. A spiral notebook works well too. Write a letter or short note to your loved one when you’re thinking about them. List the things you loved or remember about them (how they looked, things they liked, things you did together, things they taught you). Draw pictures and include photos too. When you want to remember your special person, look through your journal or even share it with others.
3. Memory Garden
SUPPLIES: A favorite plant or flower that reminds you of or is a favorite color of your loved one, a garden plot or container
INSTRUCTIONS: Find a place in your garden, yard or deck and then determine what plant would thrive there as well as honor your special person. After planting, say something special, read something special or play special music. This is something you can do on an important day like their birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or another special day. You can continue to add to this “memory” garden on different occasions.
The Bereavement Center offers Kidz Art Workshops, and camps. These are opportunities to remember your special person, too. Looking at pictures, talking about them, and simply thinking about them are ways to honor who they were and what they meant to you. As you remember them, they will always be in your heart.