Book Review

BY: Lisa Florjancic, MA, LSW

​Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living through Grief when an Adult Brother or Sister Dies
By T.J. Wray

The year my brother died, I forgot how to breathe, and no one seemed to notice. After all, it was only my brother; I should get over it.” When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, she realized that the death of a sibling is not often acknowledged and that there is little information available to help cope with the loss of an adult sibling. That is what prompted Wray, a Professor of Religious and Theological Studies at Salve Regina University in Rhode Island, to write about her experience with losing her adult brother. Her own research confirmed that sibling loss has been ignored and is often considered insignificant in the eyes of others.

This book describes her journey through grief walk, as well as the experiences of others. Her beautifully written book was designed to acknowledge and validate the feelings of the surviving sibling. Each chapter reinforces the message that the survivor is not alone in dealing with their grief, and Wray gives practical advice for coping with each stage. The resources listed in the appendix provide additional useful guides to those in need. Surviving siblings are examples of what is known as “the forgotten bereaved” and Wray’s book offers hope and support to those left behind.