What’s on Your Grief Playlist?

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BY: Karen Hatfield, MMT, MT-BC, CHPCA

CATEGORY: Grief and Loss
PUBLICATION: About Grief

 

​What would we do without music? It accompanies happy and sad times alike. It inspires us to move, and supports us in our tears. It is tied to our memories, and can change our mood in an instant. Music often expresses exactly what we are feeling, even when we are not able to.

In grief, familiar music can catch us off guard—that song you danced to at your wedding, or the lullaby your mother used to sing to you can really throw you through for a loop when you’re not prepared for it. At other times, those same songs can bring comfort and a space to remember deeply—even through tears. 


We can also find that certain music expresses different aspects of our grief perfectly, either through lyrics or instruments that stir deep emotions.  Samuel Barber’s instrumental piece, “Adagio for Strings,” reflects a sadness and intensity that many who are grieving can relate to. In "You're Not There," Lukas Graham describes the feelings and experience of moving through life after the death of a father. Other songs, like Faith Hill’s “There You’ll Be,” support a listener’s belief that our loved ones are always with us, whether in spirit, memory or some other comforting way. There are hundreds of songs and instrumental pieces that may resonate with us in our grief, just as there are many songs that immediately lift our spirits.  


Pay attention to the music you find yourself listening to. Is it a gentle space for you to have a good cry? Or is it something stronger that helps to express feelings of anger or regret that are difficult to explain to another person? Maybe it is something light and distracting that gives you a break from the heavy feelings of grief. Often, we listen to a variety of things that carry us through the ups and downs in our days. No matter what is on your personal grief playlist, honor the music for whatever purpose it serves for you. There are no wrong choices.    

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