Book Spotlight: The Grieving Body by Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor

In The Grieving Body, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor - neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Grieving Brain - delivers a compelling, science-based exploration of how grief manifests not just emotionally, but physically. Drawing from both her clinical expertise and personal experiences as a grieving and physically disabled person, O’Connor sheds light on the profound physiological dimensions of bereavement.

O’Connor takes readers on an in-depth journey through the body's response to loss, system by system, demonstrating how grief reverberates throughout the entire body - not just the mind. She delves into how the stress of losing a loved one can spark systemic inflammation, which in turn affects mood, cognition, and even organ function. By examining grief through the lens of body systems, O’Connor makes the invisible visible, illuminating how deeply and intricately our relationships shape our biological state. One of the book’s most poignant insights is the concept of the "unconscious dynamic system" we form with those we love. Beyond shared responsibilities, there exists a hidden reciprocity that supports our psychological needs, emotional regulation, and relational identity. When a loved one dies, this system collapses, revealing its once-invisible presence through the physical and emotional disruptions that follow. In grieving, the body instinctively works to recalibrate and restore equilibrium. O’Connor also emphasizes the healing role of social connection in this recalibration process. Her research highlights the significant impact of supportive relationships on emotional well-being and physiological health, including immune function and inflammation regulation.

This aligns closely with what we see in our work at Hospice of the Western Reserve. As bereavement professionals, we often remind people that grief isn’t “just in your head” - it’s a systemic experience. Understanding this can be incredibly comforting for those who feel like they’re “going crazy” or experiencing unexpected physical symptoms after a loss. Knowing there’s a scientific reason behind it all can offer hope - and even a sense of control. That's why community matters. Through support groups and shared experiences, grievers can find connection and healing. At Hospice of the Western Reserve, we’re proud to offer a variety of support options that foster this kind of connection, understanding, and shared healing among those who are grieving. In both The Grieving Body and her earlier work, The Grieving Brain, Dr. O’Connor paints a clear and compassionate picture of how deeply our relationships are wired into us - and how grief touches every part of who we are.